NZ Centre for Political Research

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*I believe the position is in fact much worse than the article suggests. Some women deliberately go out and choose a male to get pregnant (probably on a one night stand) and the father know nothing about his child. This is as a result of the DPB. W must get back to a society which values a family and here I mean a mother and a father who stay together to bring up any offspring. Any single girl who gets pregnant no matter when, how or why, should not receive any financial support from the Govt and rely upon her own family. The child should then be immediately offered up for adoption, where there are any number of couples wishing to adopt babies as they are unable to have their own. “Old fashioned” philosophy I accept but it did work warts and all. We are far to bloody PC and feminist. I have been married for over 40 years have a daughter and grand daughters and been thru the mill so to speak on all of this. CB

*I'm doubtful about how well shared parenting works in practice, as inevitably, the children will spend slightly more with one parent than with the other. I think the best solution is for the father to have custody unless he declines it: - it puts people off divorce, as the mother would find it unattractive, because she will lose her time with the children, whereas the father would find it unattractive, because, assuming he is the main breadwinner, he would then have to find a way of caring for the children during the day. Also, I don't agree with letting the children decide whose custody they want to be under: - this creates a situation where children are no longer under their parents' authority and they are then able to play off one parent against the other. However, that said, I am extremely glad that you have said all those things about the evils of the child support system. It creates a nature-distorting system where a woman can enjoy his financial protection, but without any of the work in making a relationship work involved with having a live-in husband. When my grandparents' marriage ended, my grandfather was paying so much child support that he could only afford student accommodation, all the while my grandmother was spending extravagantly. I definitely agree that a man's responsibility to provide for his offspring is non-negotiable, but these feminists have created a system of the mother having the rights and the father having the responsibility. GP

*I'd like to comment on family styles as potential sources of child abuse.

Any social worker - any layman, for that matter - could probably point up the most common profile features of a potentially abusive family style.

o sole parenthood, (primarily female...)
o teenage parenthood,
o low educational attainment,
o benefit dependency,
o chronic alcohol and drug abuse,
o violence,
o blended families,
o co-habitation,
o and a few others.

What is not so obvious is that in any profile targetted it is likely that while fitting that profile, non-abusive families are still likely to outnumber abusive families, often by a considerable factor.

In focussing on abusive families, I think we are asking the wrong question. We should be looking at what the non-abusive families are doing in comparably stressful circumstances that keeps their children safe. What strategies, conscious or unconscious, do they have in place. How might we incorporate these strategies into our education system? If I was in government I would be looking to fund (non-feminist) studies of healthy families.

Statistics are often misused to point political or racist fingers. In this exerpt from an article in the Herald, (Steven Cook Jul 15, 2007) Maori are being featured:

"New Zealand's national diagnosed rate for head injuries to infants under the age of 2 caused by child abuse is 22 per 100,000 - which is comparable to the rest of the world.

However, for Maori children the figure is the highest in the world. Between 50 and 60 Maori infants per 100,000 suffer head injuries as a result of child abuse."

Turn the figures around. Of 10,000 New Zealand kids under two years old, 9998 are not going to wind up in Starship as victims of child abuse, and of 10,000 Maori kids, 9995 are not going to wind up there either.

Highlighting Maori status as the leading child-bashing social group in the world implies that we should look at "Maoriness" for the clearest evidence of the origins of the problem.

Acting on "Maori", expecting "Maori" to clean up their act, funding more "Maori" research projects, is simple BS! The vast majority of Maori parents, like the vast majority of Pacific Island parents, of pakeha parents, of Asian parents, of Muslim parents, of Christian parents, are outside of these statistics. (I like the Maori term, "tauiwi", which I encountered recently, which encompasses all non-Maori — Pakeha, Pasifika, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc)

To apply a solution to "Maori" as a group, or to look at "Maoriness" - or any other attribute - for the origin of the problem is totally inappropriate.

But mostly, study healthy populations not sick ones.

Cheers
Dave

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*I think that it would be worthwhile for the children's sakes and they would not feel so isolated and unloved if both parents were involved in their ongoing upbringing. Joy

*The child abuse figures are appalling. One thing that needs to stop, is both parents living apart supported by the state as reported by L. Mitchell where a group of solo fathers in Rotorua went to court to get the same as the mothers'. In that case the DPB needs to be halved. Socialism gone mad. Monica

*It is just so wrong that government policies split up families. The role of the family court should be to ensure children are connected to both mum and dad - not divide them further. It is an indictment on MPs that none of them want to tackle this as a policy issue that needs fixing. Wendy

*Agree with what you say but, not mentioned are the males (and females) who have relationships and conceive "out of wedlock" with no sense of responsibility. Ron

*Theoretically we have a legal encouragement of shared parenting now. Hilary

*Link the family financial benefits to parental sharing,or lose the benefits proportionally (while children are under 15yrs of age), according to the degree of failure to comply. Vic

*Well, it should! I had "shared parenting" imposed upon me by a judge after months of expensive legal wrangling and harrowing stress and it didn't make a damn bit of difference. As the father I was still treated badly and shafted by the "system" It appears having a child born in 1990 and then having the relationship broken up was the worst possible time period I could have chosen! Everything I have read in this article re child support was exactly what i experienced. What an ugly, ugly experience it was! Peter

*I feel the anti-family laws in this country including removing parents' rights to discipline their children are the catalyst for the break-down in society today. Gaylene

*When children are younger Mum is the best for children. However I feel that the No 1 problem here in NZ is that we accept unmarried women producing babies to several different males. These children grow up without knowing whom is their father and he has no input to their upbringing and we pay. If the first one was classed as an accident I am sure that said child would have a better upbringing and I don't mind the mother being paid BUT any after that it is for them to provide I am sure that the problem would be solved. Many solo mums keep having additions so as they do not have to go and work. Marylin

*Two people made the child and so those two should be responsible for it's upbringing. Mary

*Yes as things stand at present, but if our gutless governments would get rid of the DPB it would solve a lot of the problems and make BOTH parents take responsibility for the offspring they have produced. Margaret

*Parents must be responsible for teaching their children to behave and to obey the law. Unfortunately many parents do not accept these conditions either by choice or ignorance. Shared parenting will not improve this situation. Peter

*That, plus a little more discipline, especially in schools. Dave

*It would hurt to have support for parents with problems they can't handle. Christine

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*Shared care as a starting point would remove the incentive of a parent to deny their children time with the other parent for financial reasons. Ken

*Children need both mums and dads to influence their lives and to take responsibility for their well being. Adults whose relationships break up should put the needs of their children ahead of other matters when it comes to child care. The government should support this stance. Colleen

*The whole system is out of date and does not address the basic problem that is prevalent in this country. Being responsible for your own actions and not expecting someone else to pay for your actions. Brent

*The reasons for a marriage breakdown are as varied as the number of marriages which don't last. The games some parents play btween each other with the children in the middle is just awful as I can testify with my grandchildren in this situation now. I don't believe either parent is able to share this situation. Where parents have an amicable arrangement with common goals for the care and love of their children this can and does work but every case is different and many facts need to be taken into account by the Family Court Judges. I am observing first hand the upset, confusion and disappointment which the children feel.Many parents expect to have their "rights" but forget about the responsibilities of financial, emotional, educational and the LOVE which their children need. Many use the "right" words when in court but fail to follow through when it comes to putting into practise what they've said.Although my only income is superannuation now and there is no family fortune hidden away, I make alot of financial contribution to my grandchildren's life by paying for school fees, violin lessons, transport, theatre outings, clothing etc. The father makes the MOST minimal support payments possible but expects EVERY RIGHT and makes life hell for the children and his former wife. Susannah

*Anything would be an improvement on the current system. John

*Yes, definitely. The labour govt. under Helen Clarke have a lot to answer for. Desmond

*Unfortunately it's not as simple as one solution for all but yes it would help! Greg

*Probably the best outcome after the legal separation/divorce. Frank

*Parents understand their individual children better than Government. George

*I have been closely associated with this problem and, thanks to 'shared care' I have been involved with the child, my grandchild. She has two homes but has always known this situation so has adjusted to the situation. She has grown up knowing both sides of her family, which would not have been the case had there not been shared care. She has the best of both worlds, so to speak. Thankfully both parents have opted out of the Child Support through IRD so there is no irritating dealings with the IRD. It seems to be working very well. The child is all important in these break-downs in relationships and the shared care arrangement goes a long way to giving the child more access to the whole family and the benefits that usually brings. Dorothy

*When the Government stops financial support for children having chilcren and forces the families to support them, we might see a change. Jasmine

*Everyone deserves access to 'group therapy' or published listrs of 'How to cope'. And seminars. Jean

*Hope it's not all too late for NZ. Don

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*Shared parenting is important to give a child a balanced veiw of life. Stan

*WE have to get back to the concept of Responsibility; reinforce the concept of the married two parent family, living together. This will require the rescinding of most of the Femeinist instigated legislation, and the discrediting of a number of high profile individuals who drove this agenda. I doubt that our media are responsibile enough to support such an idea, nor our population mature enough to understand the reason why such is needed. Bob

*To deprive a child of either parent is the ultimate in child abuse! Alastair

*Only if both parents are reasonable, sane, individuals. Ian

*I believe that by forcing a child to have 2 homes, 2 different sets of values to live by, you are not teaching a child stability in relationships and life in general.How are they supposed to learn how to be stable in a job or anything, if they can't embrace that for themselves. Nothing then belongs to the child, they are just pawns in a broken relationship. Bronwyn

*It sounds a far better arrangement than the present regime. Paul

*It might make a difference but not necessarily in all cases. K

*I've heard too many stories of fathers excluded from a full parental role due to the mother making false complaints to judges who start from a position of assuming the father is guilty unless proven innocent. It is time this bias was stopped and fathers allowed to play a full role in the upbringing of their children. All too often these days the father is treated as nothing but a wallet. Gary

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*Eliminate the Mother as the gatekeeper to the children? 100% for that. The rest of the bureaucratic BS that goes with it? no. And BENEFICIARY BENNETT has not got the ethics, morals or spine to do what is needed. Ask her when she intends reducing the out of control "baby factory" program that is the $2,500,000,000 ANNUAL BILL for the "DPB"? A Tui beer advert springs to mind. Mark

*Define with accuracy "shared parenting"
Does it mean two adults living in one space with both taking active care and responsibilty of the childen living in that shared space?
Or does it mean that once you have passed on your biological blueprint and formed another human being you have the responsibilty to pass on your social and physical skills to that ofspring?
JUst because one parent does not live with their offspring does not mean that they are bad parents.
A high % of child abuse cases comes from step parents, often male, which corresponds to the basic biological "defend your own gene pool" and not the modern social "defend all helpless ones"
Parenting has become extremely down graded as an essential social activity and no "quick fix bandaid" is going to correct years of neglect in this area.
We need to get back to basics in education in matters of domestic, parenting and financial skills. Teach the children from day one how to run a home, manage money, be a parent.Make sure people knew what was involved in having a family and give them the skills they need. It used to be said that it takes a village to raise a child but we have demolished that village and left parents in the wilderness.
If we get back to making and teaching family skills a priority, a lot of issues will decrease. But the last thing we need is more stupid and sledgehammer legislation a la Braford's "smacking bill". Wendy

*Yes, I do believe that, in retrospect - having been both the custodial parent and the non-custodial - it may have helped a lot at the time, although I think it would be disruptive to the child also - as far as schooling was concerned and knowing where they belonged. Aphrodite

*What a question!! Only a willingly blind fool can say no to this question. Of course shared parenting will make a difference - it always has and always will make a positive difference in a family and by extension to society. If we should ban anything it should be the out of balance feminist agendas. Walter

*Shared parenting is not the answer. It is slightly better than the disaster that is in place now, but it is by no means a good alternative to the real thing - couples staying together, married. Indeed, the whole purpose of the feminist agenda is to fall in line with the UN agenda of creating an unruly, belligerent "entitled" populace that "needs" the heavy-hand of state control. And the UN in turn is subordinate to Satan, whose desire is for dysfunctional, crushed, broken people who are distant from God and easy tools for the devil's schemes and plans. And how thoroughly has NZ "toed the party line" in this satanic plan of social disintegration and alienation. Peter

*Ideally, it's the best way for a child to fully develop. Male and female parental input is far more balancing and formative than from only one parent. Jim

*The current law is set to a sole/prime caregiver, which removes or minimises the other parents role. The Social Security Act 1964 AND Child Support Act need be overhauled. Nik

*But a tentative yes, as I no longer have any faith in the current politicians ability to rationally assess the situation as it might cost them the feminist votes. John

*I am in a shared parenting situation. Sadly the emotional abuse of the children by the father every second week has made them very insecure and also made my son very aggressive towards all females. Sometimes shared parenting isn't the best for the child. However when BOTH parents do in fact continue to communicate and put the child first I am sure it could be valuable for the child. Melody

*Well it ain't working under the current system, that's for sure! John

*When my wife & I split we had a week-about arrangement which I believe worked very well when my daughters were still relatively young. Consequently they are pretty well settled and stable in their lives now that they are just our of their teens. John

*Having access to 2 caring parents is vital for our children. Viv

*I have been a victum of current law. Steven

*As a former divorcee I had to grin and bear the situation of long absences to see my daughter due to living elsewhere in N.Z. I had to tolerate arriving at the pre arranged venue to find no one home and being restricted to very short visits even though having travelled a long distance to see her. When I brought her back right on time the door was then slammed in my face. I heard people saying it is a man's world. I would retort "you are quite wrong - it is a woman's world - they can't lose". I paid maitenance for 28 years even though i knew it wasn't needed in latter years but a prison sentence awaited me if I failed to pay. The former wife could block your departure from N.Z. unless you lodged a bond for the time you were out of the country and if the bond had run out before your return the exwife could have police waiting for you at the airport. Colin

*Of course - but you need good parents!! David

*Mothers and fathers have roles that are a little different for children, and children should see both. Ian

*Not really Muriel. What needs to be removed is the DPB and the benefit that yougsters can claim because they have decided at 13 that they don't like having to abide by Mum and Dads rules at home. The DPB should never be available to anyone who has not had at least 5 years of marriage. If you have a bunch of kids before you have even attempted to keep your marriage together, then tough luck. You're just too stupid to be bothered with. Exceptions would of course be where the husband has been killed or disabled. In those cases, other assessments for financial assistance can be negotiated. Shared custody is very tough to manage and hardly ever produces happy kids. Dianna

*Absolutely. It is a duty of both parents to raise a child after all it two to tango to produce, therefore it go to reason for the two to equally be responsible for the child/ren. But the problem still lie with the fact that this alone will not solve the problem of violent domestic violence untill the authorities equally apply councilling and protection of any children and to provide coucilling for the parents that may be involved. It also needs to repatriate the parent involved as the childs wellbeing does rest with two parent family that is a male and female as this gives balance to the childs understanding of life. Yes to often the male is charged wih the violence but nothing is done to seek a solution to what caused the problem in the first place. I know that alcohol is generally sited as the reason, and in dead it does fuel most violence but what are there underneath that is hidden. Too often the authorities take he easy way out, and legislation allows them to get away with it. Let us take on the authorities to pull their fingers out and do something constructive for a change. Too often I have been told I do not know what I am doing in matters like these of domestic violence but I have learnt by experience, and not by dickhead councillors. Rawiri

*I have had an absolute gutsful of the gutless National Govt and I despise Labour and all it stands for. If another right wing party were to stand up for the rights of the electorate, they would get my vote. Meanwhile, I will be abstaining from voting altogether. We have 2 laws coming up which are just plain frightening - the biggest con ever inflicted on us - the ETS, and the Foreshore & Seabed corrupt pandering to a racist group. Sustralia is looking more and more attractive. Carolyn

*It worked before the feminists took over it will work again if we give it a chance. Rick

*By shared parenting I mean a mother and father in a formal marriage situation. Don

*In the 1970s we tried to show how destructive,cruelly selfish and dangerous feminism would become. Isaiah Ch.3 is worth reading. James

*Don't forget CYFS children: with minimal contact with Mum or Dad, and cut off from grandparents, cousins, friends etc, moved from caregiver to caregiver and school to school. Shared parenting for them too. Alan

*There needs to be a heavy disincentive for either party ending a marriage with children involved. Perhaps a license to parent might go some way? Chris

*Would need some money incentive to implement. Laurie

*My son is presently going through the court system in this area. Never realise the court system was so one sided until now. We males do not have a voice. Neil

This week's poll asks:

Do you believe shared parenting would make a difference?

*Thinking back, I should have seen the writing on the wall when the anti smacking bill was introduced. w.r.t. National becoming the New Labour Party, the though of getting rid of Clark made me blind. John

*Terrible atrocities have been committed in NZ's "Family" Court. The institution has driven many men to suicide. And, whatever happened to the family reported in the Oct 2005 Investigate Magazine where the daughter (supported by the State)attempted to divorce both her parents through the Family court? Frank

*Shared parenting would definitely make a huge difference - I have never understood why New Zealand hasn't moved towards this some years ago but I guess it is because of the opposition of those feminist groups. I hope John Key has the gumption to consider this sort of policy change as it would upset those women voters that he seems so enamoured by that he is refusing to suspend the ETS. The present family law system is a disgrace, so the sooner change is signalled the better. Sam

*The child support act is a nightmare - it must go and the sooner the better. Pete

*Thanks for the articles on family law. It is dreadful area of law but no-one seems to give a toss. I suppose its because it affects men more than anyone else. but that's not really the case as it has a devastating effect on our children and on any new families. I hope that this is the beginning of a movement for change. TJ

*Shared parenting makes so much sense - I just hope National are interested. The more support networds that surround children from broken homes the better. Sarah

*These radical groups like feminists and Maori sovereignty activists are so dangerous they shouldn't be given the time of day. However, if they do influence policy, at least if the public understand what's going on, as Stuart Birks says, then the government can be held to account. Jim

*Eliminate the Mother as the gatekeeper to the children? 100% for that. The rest of the bureaucratic BS that goes with it? no. And BENEFICIARY BENNETT has not got the ethics, morals or spine to do what is needed. Ask her when she intends reducing the out of control "baby factory" program that is the $2,500,000,000 ANNUAL BILL for the "DPB"? A Tui beer advert springs to mind. Mark