About the Author

Avatar photo

Frank Newman

If I Wanted New Zealand to Fail

Print Friendly and PDF
Posted on

If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

To suffer, not prosper; to despair, not dream.

I would start with democracy itself.

I would say it is not working. 

I’d say that a House of Representatives that represents all people, does not suit a modern society. 

I’d call it old-fashioned. 

I’d say everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

For every concern, I’d invent a crisis; and for every crisis, I’d say the Government is the answer.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d say politicians are the single source of truth – I’d say they are right, even when they are wrong. 

I’d say free speech that does not agree with me, is hate speech.

I’d say truth is a lie.  

That information is misinformation and misinformation is information.

I’d say to be cruel is to be kind, and to fail is to succeed. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d condemn the wise for being fools and convince the fools that they are wise. 

I would say we are a team of 5 million, and then divide us all by race, by gender, by sexual preference, by vaccination status. 

I’d create a them and us society. 

And when the people protest, I would look down on them, and call them a river of filth.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would say that poverty is noble and wealth is greed. 

And to those who seek opportunity, I would say the best opportunities in life are ones that only politicians can deliver.

I’d convince New Zealanders that economic freedom is harmful, and that more regulation is the answer. 

And when those regulations fail, I’d say, we need more. 

I’d tax those who aspire for a better life and give it to those who aspire for nothing but the wealth of others.  

I’d make it more fashionable to resent success than to seek it.


And what would I do to those who do prosper? 

I’d tax their income and when I can’t tax that any more, 

I’d tax their spending, and when I’ve taken all they have to spend, 

 I’d tax their savings until they have no more.

And then, I’d say that’s fair. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would impose regulations that make it impossible for farmers to farm, miners to mine, loggers to log, and builders to build.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d cripple small businesses with high taxes, high wages, and high compliance costs. 

I’d make it easier to stop commerce than start it, easier to kill jobs than create them. 

And when prices rise, I would blame the supermarkets, the banks, the service stations so we can regulate them too.

I’d convince New Zealanders that prosperity itself is harmful, and villainise those who’ve prospered from their own endeavours. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d make welfare easy to get but hard to get off – a hand-out not a hand-up, for as long as they want it. 

I’d then give people a house to live in for life, so they never get on the property ladder that has, since the beginning of time, been a pathway towards prosperity and financial freedom.

I’d turn an opportunity society into a dependency culture, and say it was for the greater good. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would take away the dreams and aspirations of children and confuse them by saying a boy is a girl and a girl is a boy and 2 plus 2 is…whatever you feel it should be.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would indoctrinate not educate, so when kids think they think like us, and not for themselves.

I’d teach children how to ignore the hypocrisy of condemning logging, mining and farming — while having a roof over their heads, heat in their homes and food on their tables.

And I would never teach children that the free market is the only force in human history to uplift the poor and create lasting prosperity.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d teach schoolchildren that they have no future, and blame their parents for killing the planet.

I’d say the climate emergency is proven, and I’d cancel scientists who say otherwise.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d close down our food producers who are the most efficient in the world, so less efficient farmers overseas can grow more. 

I’d vilify farmers and demonise an industry that’s been the backbone of our economy, and I’d celebrate those who say we should not travel, while they jet their way around the world attending climate change conferences.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d pay foreigners to buy up productive farmland so they can plant pine trees that will never be harvested and never create a single job or earn a single dollar in foreign exchange. I’d call it carbon farming and say, it’s our future.

And because I don’t believe in free markets, I’d invent false ones. 

I’d devise fictitious products – like carbon credits –and force up the price of fuel and electricity and convince people that this would create jobs and be good for the economy, but I would never say where the new jobs will be found.

When it’s cold outside, I’d muster a straight face call that climate change too. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d make cheap energy expensive so that expensive energy would seem cheap.

I’d cut off our supply of abundant energy by closing the mines and capping the oil wells and say it’s because the world will end if we don’t.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would close our only oil refining company and put hundreds of people out of work, then import fuel and byproducts from overseas, so they can employ their people. 


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d take away the jobs that make our regions strong, and to put things right I’d give them welfare.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would make the independent media financially dependent on the government so that instead of holding the politicians to account, the Government’s narrative becomes their narrative.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would “fix” the health system by hiring more bureaucrats and administrators than nurses and doctors, and then wonder why health care is in crisis.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I’d promise to build 100,000 homes, deliver a few, and then turn a blind eye to the homeless living on the streets or in cars.

I’d say I will reduce child poverty and then do the opposite.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would make bold promises, then hire an army of spin doctors to make excuses when things go wrong.

And I’d convince our indigenous people that their future lies in the past, and appease their grievances with never-ending full and final settlements. 

And I would reward hysterical minorities who say we should be more like them, by giving them awards and a platform of fame, even when others are more deserving.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would give a small number of people in our society the right to rule over the majority, for no other reason than their ancestors arrived before our ancestors.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would take down the portraits and statues of our former leaders, and change the names of towns and places to erase the memory of generations of settlers who made those places what they are today. 

And when I have done this, I would call New Zealand Aotearoa, to show everyone who really is in charge.

And if anyone says we should all be equal, I’d call them a racist to silence their opposition.


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I would prey on the goodness and decency of ordinary New Zealanders.

I would only need to convince them… that all of this is for the greater good…that politicians are the answer to their problems, not the cause


If I wanted New Zealand to fail…

I wouldn’t change a thing.


[Acknowledgement: “If I Wanted America to Fail,” 2012 by Free Market America]